Letting go.
During this past 2020 I learned several realizations that I told you about in the previous article that you can read again anytime you want by clicking here. The notes I am sharing with you are part of the project “The Essence,” which I am telling you about through the piano and thanks to my studies at the Gurdjieff Academy(find out who he is).
Writing is relaxing and liberating for me. In this space you will find excerpts and shares from my notes, ideas, insights, reflections thatI want to share with you web readers who follow me, so that we can create a mutual comparison and stimulus to“talk together.”
Christian “DeLord” Carlino
23/02/2020 | I am sitting in silence. I close my eyes. A few weeks ago I returned from an event that brought the VETA Light project to Milan. I am practicing meditation and this new practice has as its main purpose the union of these words: letting go+ going. Until this moment, I had not yet experienced meditation in total silence and listening to what is going on inside me; it is both indescribable magic but also an uneasy feeling at times.
It happens when you touch parts of yourself that you had kept hidden deep inside and don’t want to accept that they are really yours. We escape, we spend our time running away from ourselves more than we think without even realizing it. In that instant I realized how much, various situations experienced on the outside were nothing more than the projection of an inner state that I had not had the strength to accept as my own until now.
They scroll through the images. I find myself in an unexplored place and so unfamiliar, I see myself in the distance and recognize myself as so different from what I remembered. Moments become eternal and time becomes imperceptible, slipping from my grasp. I am alone in this forest intoxicated by soft, crystallized lights. Around me I sense coldness and silences, moments spent in this place so far from me but due, for a future rebirth.
I follow music that suddenly rises up and comes after me, the notes initially unfamiliar. I look before me to catch a glimpse of where this melody is coming from but an imperceptible glass ice blocks me. I remain listening in my silence. A light appears in the distance and tries to make its way through this glass ice that pervades me, I look over. I observe, listen and let go of every feeling. Suddenly this invisible patina blocking me begins to melt and explode, light pervades me and I advance. Step by step I rise, silences turn into beats, and slowly I emerge from my heart. I turn around, see my old IO that I let go slipping away into the ground with a complacent smile. I open my eyes and regain contact with reality.
A tranquility I have never felt before pervades me. We are an infinity of possibilities; it is up to us to seize the path of awareness to reach our Essence, letting go of judgments, assumptions, “hearsay,” fears of not being accepted and all that we are not.
It is only by letting go that we achieve what we seek-I call it The Essence.
New directions and perceptions, no longer just illusions, endless roads to travel to discover our depths. The absolute. What is unexpected remains our best path; beyond our fears we dissolve the dances and move, move these helpless bodies lying on golden hills locked in increasingly invisible golden cages.
We transmute matter and become new beings. Dance.
Photo by Ahmad Odeh on Unsplash
13/04/2021 | Do you feel like playing a game with me? Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen and answer these questions: Who are you?
What are you doing?
What do you represent to the people around you?
Letting go for me meant to stop controlling, to literally lose control of everything and then find myself in a new form. It still means seeking that awareness that in every moment we can choose to change and modify something; life is a continuous change.
To do what I feel and want, to create the world I want around me.
If you have read this far I say Thank you.
See you soon,
Christian “DeLord” Carlino
I don’t want to be a guru, I don’t claim it and I never wanted to. I wanted to share with you this reflection I made. Let me know if it was helpful to you or even if it seems like nonsense 😀
