My“newfound lightness” through piano and music: new found balances.
Today’s theme begins in November 2019, a few months before the pandemic that would“disrupt” our daily lives. The notes I am about to share with you evolved as I went through the path on lightness through the piano and during my studies at the Gurdjieff Academy(find out who he is).
Writing is relaxing and liberating for me. In this space you will find excerpts and shares from my notes, ideas, insights, reflections thatI want to share with you web readers who follow me, so that we can create a mutual comparison and stimulus to“talk together.”
Christian “DeLord” Carlino
12/11/2019 | At the end of 2019 I was working on an experiment at theMusic Academy I am attending; it consisted of composing a suite of three piano pieces for left hand only.
These are the notes I jotted down on the feelings I had while using only my left hand to create new music:
“The slow drag of events that moves you out of your will prevents but invites you to recalibrate your life goals. Understand openness to the new and unexpected, moving, shape-shifting in continuous evolution and listening. Eliminate the superfluous and push away the unnecessary, already acquired experiences. Setting foot on the new path, aware of one’s own power being mastered and no longer subjected to it.“
This experiment brought me for the first time to listen very carefully to a part of me that until then I had always let go very mechanically and without giving it much weight; in the way I approach piano study, the right hand has always been a predominant part of everything. Let’s say I have never faced a course of study like the one I am facing now….
In all those awarenesses I began to release several tensions that started mainly from my inner center to result in my sound expressiveness through stiffness, locked wrists, and stiff back/shoulders during my piano performances. I pursued this newfound lightness of today for several years, first training myself to lighten the load of“other people’s issues” that I had made myself a carrier of, and little by little, I got rid of them and transformed these energies into an absolute focus on expressiveness.
The lightness I am now beginning to feel is something I had never felt in my life. Now I feel the slow flow of my emotions finally beginning to make their way even into my everyday life, no longer being repressed to appear toward something they are no longer. I now find more and more relevant the words I wrote in 2007 dedicated to the issue of Appearance…(you can read more at this link)
Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash
28/01/2020 | The feelings I have are increasing every day this new awareness of my becoming lighter and understanding, little by little, how to make my life a continuous lightness, a light flowing almost like hands on the piano. In our journey of life, emotions are our compass. Mechanicality is the point of distraction that shifts our focus and tries to take us away from the emotion we are experiencing.
Whenever we put an obstacle in front of us, we are blocking our evolution and not loving ourselves. We are in constant and eternal motion. Nothing is still; it is a continuous nourishment. The light is infinite. We are immersed in the“automatic” life that flows regardless. It is up to us to govern this existence, to interrupt this cycle of automatisms to enter more and more into the world of emotions, into our inner place.
12/03/2021 | For so long I let my old identity prevail in every choice I made and had reached a point where, in order to avoid dealing with sensitive issues, I allowed myself to be used, overwhelmed and humiliated at the cost of losing my dignity. The reality I had constructed was nothing but a mirror of my own interior so tormented that I had almost stopped wanting to live. These have been long and difficult years in some respects, I have endured things that to this day I no longer accept to endure. I free myself from these chains that have kept me bound to a past of victimhood. Now I free myself, forgive myself and accept a new life governed by newfound lightness and the thought that I can simply be and choose to do what I feel to create the world I want around me.
Welcome back to life.
I don’t want to be a guru, I don’t claim it and I never wanted to. I wanted to share with you this reflection I made during my evolution in piano study. Let me know if it was helpful to you or even if it seems like nonsense 😀
See you soon,
Christian “DeLord” Carlino
